a big day
Twelve years ago today1 I realized I was queer, came out, left my husband and ran to tell Danielle I did it because I thought she was hot. It was summer solstice, the longest day of the year, and good thing: I was in the work of changing my life and needed all the light I could get.
I’ve been telling this story for years and when I do I sweat, talking faster and louder the longer I go on: “and she was like, ‘so I guess you can’t be [my kids’] godparent anymore’” and “so they said I would no longer be considered for the job! because gay!” and “then he outed us after we specifically said, ‘don’t tell them’” and “she told her that I wasn’t really gay and was just doing this for attention” and “she was really nice about it, which made sense since we’d been such good friends for years, but—to this day—I haven’t heard from her since” and “then we were uninvited to Christmas” and “we left in the middle of the night to be safe” and “so I just deleted my Facebook…