in nedra tawwabs book "set boundaries, find peace" she suggested turning off cell phones just for a little bit at a time and it was such an interesting experience for me to realize how much anxiety i had around "being unavailable". i still tell my partner ahead of time if im turning my phone off but its been a good practice in realizing i can trust other people to manage their problems and a lot of my phone use is because im subconsciously awaiting crisis and urgency
i really relate to this! I've wanted to stop sleeping with my phone nearby (even bought an old fashioned alarm clock) but realize how much I am waiting for that "middle of the night call" -- i like the framing of this as learning to trust.
yeah being a parentified cptsd girlie means my partner is constantly reminding me "we're all adults, they/we can figure things out" because i go into caretaking mode whether or not other people ask for or need it. bad things happen but my involvement in it can wait. part of learning how to build sustainable movement too, like trusting my community to do the work and that i can do my part within my capacity. decentering my ego / recognizing i need to sustain myself too
in nedra tawwabs book "set boundaries, find peace" she suggested turning off cell phones just for a little bit at a time and it was such an interesting experience for me to realize how much anxiety i had around "being unavailable". i still tell my partner ahead of time if im turning my phone off but its been a good practice in realizing i can trust other people to manage their problems and a lot of my phone use is because im subconsciously awaiting crisis and urgency
i really relate to this! I've wanted to stop sleeping with my phone nearby (even bought an old fashioned alarm clock) but realize how much I am waiting for that "middle of the night call" -- i like the framing of this as learning to trust.
yeah being a parentified cptsd girlie means my partner is constantly reminding me "we're all adults, they/we can figure things out" because i go into caretaking mode whether or not other people ask for or need it. bad things happen but my involvement in it can wait. part of learning how to build sustainable movement too, like trusting my community to do the work and that i can do my part within my capacity. decentering my ego / recognizing i need to sustain myself too
yes yes - resonating with and appreciating all of this.