Every year I want to paint love art in February and end up finding sad songs falling off my brush. They’re easier I guess — a broken heart ends up with sharp bits all over the floor, and it seems right to point them out. Plus, I’ve made so many imperfect attempts at connection that I have a lot of stories to tell: just this week I found a fading love note/birthday card I wrote for my friend and never sent, suddenly shy. The next night I dreamt I gave an expensive gift to someone I’ve missed for almost two decades and they forgave me everything on the spot. Then, I woke up.
Trying to love, trying to be loved, is the tender, serious work of my life.
I don’t usually share these kinds of sketches or poems. At some point I began to feel that everything I share should have some distinctly hopeful/helpful element. (Is this true? I’ve made up a lot of rules for myself. Is this how a person becomes a brand? more of this, less of that?)
If you could see my studio (living room) with its notes, sketches and piles of paintings that never see the light of a screen, you would see how it is messier, funnier, sexier than what makes into public view. I think it’s normal and wonderful — not to mention, safer — to think carefully about what we post. But sometimes I look around and think, do I have to be *this* small to be safe?
Being seen is an intimate thing. In this way, love and art start from the same place.
I think we all decide a thousand and another thousand times if we will allow ourselves to be seen loving what we love. If we will open, even while we are trying.
I had this in mind when I painted this piece too. Many people have pointed out to me that it’s not always a fact (though, what art is?). Still, I believe the felt-sense that it gives us is true: that it’s good that we’re here and we’re safe enough to relax.
I will be grateful all my life for your kindness, which has allowed me to open and to even be loved for it. I adore you all and hope that you feel it all coming right back to you.
Brit
a few more february sketchbook moments:
And! prints of “No One is Mad at Me” are now hot off the press. SHOP
What a beautiful share. Thank you Britchida.