🍊 look at my appetite
🎥 July New Art - last day // New Check-In is up
☀️ today is the last day for July art on patreon
☀️ a new check-in is up
Hi friends — just got back from grocery shopping and here’s what’s going on.
When I put away groceries I decided to clean out the cupboards. I kept thinking: look at my appetite, look at all these things I’ve wanted to eat. How I’ve imagined building myself out of beans and cornflake crusts and stewed tomatoes and bbq chips. I felt dizzy that I had let things go bad, my sink full with what I’m throwing out. But that’s just it isn’t it: things don’t last. I was dizzy with that. Butter crackers, cottage cheese, peanut butter chocolate cups — they all can die, they do die, predictably, going bad, irreversibly. And I am not outside of it. I am in the pantry, per se. Mortal. This is another glimpse of the world as it is.
At first I think: this time, I’m going to eat everything before it goes bad. And I will try. But there’s more. So I think: this time, I will stay close to the truth. Things don’t last. I will hold the peach in my hand and treasure it for its briefness. I will eat when I am hungry, when the peach is juicy. I will remember that I cannot keep any of this. I cannot keep anything. I will get in touch with the grief of that, the dizziness. I will let it make me generous and full of appetite.
love,
brit
Here’s a study I did for “To do,” the new sticker piece. This one is about staying clear on how so much of what feels pressing doesn’t actually need anything from me. It is simply a part of life. There is space.
Here’s the New Art for July - cutoff is midnight tonight (PT, July 31). Click here if you’d like one.
This time last year my life was very simple. I was home from the hospital, a few days shy of going back in. I was deep in my body. I was lying down, I was sitting on the steps at night with Miko, awake and listening to the late summer sounds. I was cleaning incisions, emptying drains, taking my blood pressure. In a lot of ways it was a time of suffering, but even then I remember saying to Danielle how thrilling it was to realize that I could just clear out my whole life and lay down for a few months. I would say, I could do this when I’m well!
I’m going for texture, for detail.
I don’t want a round smooth face that looks like my parents when they were babies.
I want to look like me.
I want the imprint of my life,
of my reaction to this life.
Give me crinkle, tinsel and groove.
Give me shadows and spackle and mood.
Join the Patreon tier with the rewards you want for July 🌱
A new check-in is up, and has a very sweet background:
Check-ins are a form of interactive art and poetry I started writing in 2020 that guide you through noticing the moment and your self. There’s no right or better way to feel. Welcome to however you are right now. Welcome to however it shifts.
To view it, visit my story on our community Instagram @britchidapatreon and tap my profile picture.
If don’t follow the account yet, just send me a DM at @britchidapatreon with the name and/or email of your paid Patreon or Substack account and I’ll let you in!
I write new check-ins several times each month and post them for paid members.