I don’t know what will happen
About ten years ago I developed a major fear of tsunamis and began having panic attacks whenever I was near the coast. I still tried to go, but was miserable the whole time, hands fisted, nose cold. Then, at night, I would be awash with the desire to live the day over, finally feeling ready and interested in the salty wind and sand grit, now that I knew that it was safe.
So many things in my life have worked out, though I only ever know this when they’re over and it’s too late to enjoy the waves wrapping around my feet.
I don’t want a life that’s only, at best, a relief. I want to be awake to the vulnerability that I don’t know what will happen, and to be willing to live it anyway.
I think about this more around the new year, when time passes with an audible click. I am a soft bodied creature with a mammal lifespan. I don’t get to do any of these precious days over. I want to enjoy them the first time.
We know how to take up the chisel and mallet to make a life, but the water will shape us anyway. Let it.
Happy new year, friends.
I made this painting for my January patrons — it will go out to everyone on a ‘New Art’ tier.
And this is what I made for patrons on a tier that includes a sticker.
Join us before the end of the month (tomorrow!) of you’d like either or both of these new pieces.
ps. I’m also making prints of No one is mad at me that will go up in the main shop very soon — if you’d like me to send you the link when it’s ready, feel free to reply to this email and I’ll send it your way.
pss. one more thing — the new year sales on Patreon and Easy Does It annual memberships end after tomorrow, Jan 31. If you’ve been thinking about joining in for 2024, check out the links now for the best deal of the year