Sometimes: my mixed feelings make friends with each other,
I take my big dreams and my big fears and set them gently alongside a
quiet lunch and a clean t-shirt and a good laugh.
Everyone I’ve ever been feels
close to home, and
I’m not embarrassed of any of them.
It’s not always this way. Usually what I mean when
I say I am anxious or depressed is that
I feel small.
One sharp memory, one splash of fear or dread is
enough to fill me to the brim, and look,
now it’s dripping all over the place.
That’s actually how I felt when when I made this piece:
it was part memory, part promise
to myself that I will always come back.
And I have. Sometimes,
sometimes, I am huge and I hold all of myself.
This piece is called Big Self Energy and I made it for July Patreon members. I learned the phrase “self energy” from IFS, a therapy approach which has been helpful to me. Self energy describes that feeling of being yourself, of feeling clear, grounded and capable of being with yourself no matter what happens. When I have a lot of self-energy I’m able to welcome and meet the needs of all the parts of myself, even ones that sometimes have felt too painful or complicated to care for. For me self-energy comes and goes, but I want more of it. I made this piece as a way to draw myself back, to remember what it feels like to be huge inside with room for everything.
Join a New Art tier before the end of the month if you’d like a print.
And, this month’s sticker is a new one:
If you helped me out in June with the survey, you received an $8 shop credit at the end. It expires at the end of this month, which is Monday, so if you’re hoping to use it, swing by the shop this weekend! VIEW SHOP
ps. if you took the survey but no longer have a copy of the code, feel free to email me and I’ll send it to you!
Brit
new original works available now
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